Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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