How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
