Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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