the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
