Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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