i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
