Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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