38 yer olds are good kisserssss
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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