It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
