so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
