There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i've created a new STD.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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