I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
