I will probably be peed on at some point today.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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