I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
