you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
