whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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