Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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