There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
