And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
