NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
