you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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