Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
