lets start a swedish sibling band together
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
