This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
