she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
