im about as happy as oj after his trial
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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