Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
