Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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