Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
