did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
