i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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