on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
