So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
