The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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