And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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