The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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