Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
