I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
