i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
