it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
