last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
