I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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