Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
