turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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