I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
