addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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