Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
