grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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