Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
