Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
